Matto Bakkai: The Naked Man Festival

Time to talk about my last adventure! And once again, things like to be finished and then languish for months on my computer. I'll just keep telling myself that it needed to age, or ripen, or mature, or something.

On January 19th I went to Nagasu, a small town I'd never heard of before. They were having a festival called Matto Bakkai, but which we foreigners all call, “The Naked Man Festival.” If it were a screenplay, it would play out something like this:

PAN IN:

It's 10 a.m. on a cool winter day. The sun is shining. A group of men gathers in a Japanese dining hall.

Unremarkable Japanese Man #1: Take some sake!

Colin: (Surprised but grateful). Thank you!

Unremarkable Japanese Man #2: Take more sake!

Colin: I'm still drinking this one!

UJM #2: MORE, MORE, MORE

FADE OUT:

The seven foreigners are ushered into a new room. The room is slightly hazy, but the redness to their cheeks belies a warmth unsuspected in the January chill.

Head Japanese Man: Take off clothes!

Colin: Now?

HJM: Now! No socks!

They are pushed towards a new, older man with what looks like a really long roll of toilet paper, but is, deceptively, cloth. After some particular uncomfortable wrapping, all seven foreigners emerge less clothed, but now (mostly) garbed in a culturally appropriate manner and fit for any festival.

FADE OUT:

PAN IN:

Outside a community center

In what seems to be a theme, the seven American, Canadian, and Frenchmen are once again herded away, carrying the dilapidated shreds of their dignity somewhere beneath the fundoshi that barely covers their behinds.

Said fundoshi, conveniently covering more of practically everyone else in attendance.

Colin:  I feel like everyone else knows what they're doing

Frenchmen #1: Just try not to let your feet get stomped on.

Colin: What?

Everyone else: Well you've got to try to climb on all the other naked guys' shoulders, with a piece of hay in your mouth. It's good luck!

Colin: Suddenly everything makes sense. Kind of. Sort of.

The crowd of men, approximately fifty or so, is now assembled on the temple grounds. Suddenly and without warning, elbows start to fly. And someone has climbed on top of the dog-pile! He's (apparently) lucky!

Colin (to American #1): So they just pulled that guy to the ground. When does the luck start?

American #1: ....

American #1 hears nothing, because he's manhandling (literally) his way to the top of the human mass as well.

PAN TO BIRD'S EYE:

The group continues on, pushing and moving and stomping. Buckets of water fly through the air. Because sadism.Colin get's cold. Breaks off from the group. Warms himself by a fire. Gets his picture taken with old Japanese ladies who probably are just excited to look at his butt.

Colin: I guess I've gotta go back to the mass of man that's rolling down the street.

Photo stolen from the interwebs. But looking exactly like ours did, but with maybe twice as many bodies.
(http://www.nagmag.jp/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Hadaka-Matsuri_2.jpg)

Japanese Grandmother: Sumimasen, sumimasen (makes recognizable photo noises, motions Colin over)

Colin smiles, poses (PEACE), flexes his overly exposed bottom. Makes a good impression

JG : 1, 2, 3Cheeezzuuu (Cheese!)

He rejoins the ruckus, doing his best to keep the barely clothed, pushing and shoving bodies away from sharp objects and concrete walls. The blob seems to have found direction. Amidst the yelling it moves down a marked path.

Just like this. But less organized.
(http://static.tuttogratis.it/viaggi/fotogallery/628X0/64325/festival-delluomo-nudo.jpg)

American #2: I'll give you a lift, climb on top

Colin: I'm lucky enough. And I care about my toes. I've got a marathon in a month...

American #2: I don't remember asking... It was more of a demand

Colin climbs up. For the first time he doesn't see any bums. Relieved he relaxes a bit. Too much. A competitor pulls his unprepared mass to the ground. That is the end of his 1.5-second reign as Matto Bakkai king.

CLOSE-UP:

Colin's jubilant, slightly scared face. He's trying to keep his nearest neighbour from bowling over a spectating granny. Said neighbour seems not to notice.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL:

 The man-blob has reached the sea-shore. Everyone breaks up, dips, yells, cheers, and there is much rejoicing. Everyone ambles to the local public baths.

It's like the walk of shame. But culturally significant and appropriate.

FADE IN:

Public Baths. Lots of naked. Lots of steam.

Colin's Toes: Hey blood! Hey warmth! Long time no see!

Blood: We've been avoiding you

Warmth: Seriously. But we've forgiven you. Stay here forever.

THE END

And thus ended the saga of Colin and the Naked Man Festival. Any questions? Colin.ellis89@gmail.com

Happy New Year's! Omedetou Gozaimasu!

First of all, here's wishing that everyone's New Year's was great. I spent mine with my fabulous host family of the first 5 days in Japan, the Muramoto family. New Year's is their Christmas here, so families generally get together and celebrate. It's nothing like ours, with little hoorah, no banging fireworks, and definitely not much by way of rocking parties.

On NYE we had dinner, just my host-parents and host-brother Yuki. Their daughter was out at a friend's place having a "Countdown Party". Mid-meal, my host mother jumps up and says something along the lines of "Heavens above, wouldn't it be great if Colin experienced a typical Japanese food?"

Now things like that generally put me on the edge of my seat a bit, mostly because it can go either way. Five minutes later you're either roiling in ecstasy with the taste of sunshine on your tongue, or your lip is curling as you stare at a far-too large and far too stinky pile of fermented soy-beans. anyways, she goes away and comes out with a bag of shrimp. Which wouldn't be a problem if they were the proper level of dead that I'm used to.... But they were most certainly still alive and twitching.

Long story short, after watching everyone else do it, I worked up the courage to a) Grab the twitching critter b) break it in half, and c) Dip it in soy sauce and gobble it down. Now raw fish isn't something I have a problem with at all, it's mostly killing it myself. But, sticking to Japan's never-dying love of freshness, I took the plunge, and while I didn't take the proffered seconds, it didn't taste badly at all!

We went to sleep at about 12:30, like the hardcore party animals we obviously are, and when we woke up in the morning we headed to the temple. They go to the biggest temple in the area, which is in my host-mother's home-town, about an hour away. You start by washing your hands (left hand first, then right), then taking a sip of water and spitting it out into a trough of sorts. Then we got in a huge line of people waiting to go into the shrine, where you throw a few coins in and pray. Japanese Shinto Buddhism has a lot of clapping, and of course a lot of bowing. Ad far as the clapping goes, I tend to do it as loudly and obnoxiously as possible, just because it's acceptable and I'll take any excuse to cause a ruckus. At the end you draw a fortune, which I've done twice in Japan, and each time I've managed to pull out the absolute best one! I'm not really one for signs, but if it's good I'll take it!




Anyways, afterwards we went to their Grandmother's house. And for the record, this woman loves me. I'm really not sure why, because our interactions have been few, and at least some of them have involved me kindly and politely informing her that "I really don't like this food." I'm sure there's at least a little dose of sadism in her, especially when she grins maniacally and offers me specialties like pickled plums, or umeboshi, and watches my face contort into uncomfortable grimaces. We've all got our vices, and seeing as she's cute as a button, it's a pill (or a fish, or something indescribably bitter) that I'm willing to swallow!

Grandma's on the far right. For a Japanese native who really can't deal with me, look beside my left shoulder. He's small and hairy and I'm definitely not his favourite.

Anyways, we got there and were greeted by cries of "Korin-chan!" from her, which was really nice. In Japan, you're almost always ____-san, which is respectful, but when you're really close to people they'll call you "______-chan." We talked about it later over dinner, and she pretty much said it was because she had adopted me into their family, which was a lovely, lovely feeling. We dined over sushi (A+), KFC (New Year's is their busiest day. No one likes to cook on New Years and fried chicken is HUGE here), minnows, which they informed me were cooking in maple syrup (C-... Although they only did it because they wanted to be nice and show me that the gift I gave them was being well used...), and best of all, a full, giant cooked crab. That was probably my favourite part. I've never really eaten crab before, and it was so scrumptious!

All my love to everyone and a Happy New Year!

Colin

Running Wild

Today is gonna be all about running, so bear with me.

When I was a wee one (cue Timon and Pumba) I ran a bit.

And by a bit I mean when I wasn't eating bad food and drinking my soul away.

I've been in and out of it (but mostly out of it) for a long time, and have only ever ran 10KM runs before (49 minutes, when I was 18), but I decided shortly after getting here that I was going to run a marathon...

That's 42 kilometers. 42 long, long kilometers. And then I found out that there was a half marathon in Amakusa, which is an island chain famous for its scenery, it's five picturesque bridges, it's delicious mikans (nectarines) and fish, and more dubiously, for having the fastest depleting population in Japan...

(Demographically Japan is migrating out of rural areas and into cities, and being a remote island, despite all it's perks and wonders).

Ignore the finger. I blame it for taking pictures while running. Coincidentally, a good way to get weird looks from real athletes judging young tourists.

We (My friends Alys, Krista and I) registered and stayed with my wonderful friend Lauren, who lives five minutes away.

So when you register for Japanese races, you may get Japanese size T-Shirts, even if the label does say XL.

 Long story short, after ten weeks of training, on Sunday I found myself bouncing at the start line of 1100 runners on an alarmingly beautiful and warm November day in Japan.

Alys, I'd like to apologize in advance. Or kind of in advance. Or not at all really.

And I never imagined how good it would feel. I've heard of the legendary runner's high, but heeeeellllooo endorphins. 

There were old ladies and little children littering the sidewalk, cheering and clapping and “ganbadde!”-ing (Try your best!) I think they cheered harder for me A) because I'm Western, and a novelty (there's a lot of that here) but also because by the 14KM mark the sorest muscles in my body were all in my cheeks, because I couldn't stop smiling... At about that point a had to tell myself to look serious, because otherwise I'm pretty sure I would've face-cramped. And I don't even know if that's a thing, but if it is it'd be hella embarassing as a reason not to finish.

I ran it in 2:11:50, which is about 20 minutes faster than I expected... This is mostly because it was my first race and I didn't realize how much it being actual race-day would up my speed.

Afterwards, and with aching legs, I drove the normally 2.5-hour-drive home in five hours... There's only one road out of Amakusa, and almost all 2500 race participants were taking it, so it made for some pretty intense gridlock.

This is a lovely pair of Japanese citizens, who rode in the car in front of us for a long stretch of the way. Think 50 meters/minute. Anyways, I was dancing in the car and the girl started giggling. I hate being the center of attention (obviously... ;) ) so I started dancing more for her. She kept tapping and yelling at her brother beside her to look, and whenever he'd turn around I'd stop and pretend nothing was happening. This probably went on for 10 minutes, with her getting more and more frantic (and probably with their Mom watching the whole thing in rear view mirror, and probably either cursing me and all foreigners or chuckling under her breath). In the end Alys and I let the boy see too, and we ended up making faces and playing Rock, Paper, Scissors until someone rudely pulled in between us and precipitated our friendship's inevitable break-up.

Then afterwards Alys and I went to an onsen, or Japanese baths, where an older man told me my legs were the biggest things he'd ever seen ("thanks, and if I wasn't naked, I'd probably have a witty retort handy"). That being said, onsens are A) Amazing and relaxing, and B) Where I get talked to by the most strangers. 

Then, it was on to ReefBurger, an amazing little restaurants that may owe 50% of its business to foreign English teachers...

Now I'm resting up, but soon I'll start powering up again to continue my training towards my full-marathon, which is February 17^th!

Wish me luck!

And on a side note, this is me with one of my favourite babies. Ridia barely ever cries, and when I sing her German lullabies she falls asleep in my arms. Cute factor x 1 000 000

Korea and More

So it's been far too long, but here's an update on my last big adventure, when I crossed the big blue to Busan, Korea. This was actually written during said trip, but here it is anyways!

October 10th, 2012:

I'm currently sitting on a ferry on the way home from Korea. A quick blitz of Busan, which is just a 3 hour ferry from nearby Fukuoka City. Here are the highlights:

1) My darling and the love of all my fellow travelers lives, Cindy Tran. Cindy's my Explore/French Camp 2009 friend, and one of those gems you don't see often, but turn into giggling schoolgirls upon each new meeting. She's teaching elsewhere in Korea, but had been in Busan 4 days, and was the best tour guide we could ask for! 

2) DISCO! The first of Cindy's Wonders, not to be confused with other lesser wonders like the Taj Mahal or the Pyramids. South Korea loves amusement parks, and Disco is part musical experience and part ride. You sit on a round seat and hold on as a DJ spins beats and tries to throw you off your seat while lambasting you in Korean and the occasional,  "ENGLISH MAN, ENGLISH MAN!" At the end I danced Gangnam Style with a mentally disabled man who was obviously a regular.

3) The Food. Spicy Goodness for basically nothing. I couldn't get over how cheap Korea was. Asia is a mega cheap place, but Japan is definitely the exception, and is completely comparable to the North America. So going somewhere where you can stuff your face for $4 CAD was a definite plus.

Possibly not the best example, but it seems I didn't take any pictures of food.
This gem from a fish market will have to do.

4) The crowd. My friend Jess invited me to come with a group of teachers out of Nagasaki. 3 Americans, 2 New Zealanders, a Scot et moi.

Now, normally, there is nothing that turns me into a raging cesspool of madness, hormones and bile than travelling in a large group (ie, more than 4). What I didn't count on was that the people would be so amazing. It speaks for itself that I never once plotted murder. I'm calling that a rousing success.

5) Getting lost on a Korean mountainside while searching for a temple. 

6) finally finding the temple....

In other Korea news, here's this one...

Because when you spend $16/night on a hotel room you miss out on amenities. Like fire escapes.

I had an ultimate frisbee tournament the other weekend, which was fun. I'm not half as aggressive as I look (lie #1).

And now a quick blurb about me and my life here. I'm settled into a routine which is nice, though working 9-5 is something I feel like I'm going to need more time to get into. I'm super tired at school a lot, though I'm sleeping quite a bit. It probably has to do with me running 40+ KM a week... I'm training for my first half-marathon on November 18th, and then my first full marathon in February! Boy be lookin' toned...

A week ago I hiked the tallest mountain in Kyushu with my friends Marie, Andrew and Sean. My legs are like diamonds. Or titanium. Or titanium plated diamonds. Or something.

Unposed. srsly.

And finally, this Saturday I put on my sourest face and went to a Halloween party as grapes. Don't judge me. I was low budget and more importantly, low initiative. As far as Halloween goes, Japan doesn't really do it, unless you're under five or foreign... Luckily I've got deep connections in both of these viable and valuable market niches...

We made my Adult conversation class bob for onions. Partly because apples are expensive here.

But mostly because you get the gems that are faces like this.

This is Shion. He is three. He is my neighbour. He is also the best Donald Duck at his Halloweeen  parade
And I am totally unbiased. And there was only one Donald Duck.

This blogpost is one of a couple (maybe a few) daily life posts! I figured that's the most important, so you can see how I really roll in this far-off land!

Monday:

6:15AM: Go for a run. This crazy beast has decided to run a half-marathon in November, and a full-marathon in February. Why? Because I'm a sucker for punishment. Also, 17-year-old Colin once wrote a letter to 27-year-old Colin that he would do it someday. And if I cross one thing off that list, I'll feel at least slightly validated. Also I'm tired at night, and you'd wake up early too if your other option was running in 35C heat.

7:30AM: Shower with the shower it took me a week to figure out. And before you judge me.

Turn middle knob right to activate shower. Missing step: Forget you're standing fully clothed in the shower taking pictures and are now soaking wet.

8:30AM: School starts. I bask for 10 minutes in the teacher's room until I stop sweating like a pig after the 5 minute bike ride to school. There's nothing like constant 30C in the morning to keep you on your game.

8:45AM-12:30PM: Class and prep. Listen to people compliment me on my eight words of Japanese. Realize I've become known as "That Guy Who Sweats a Lot." Really, I'm the only anglo 6'1" white boy with size 13 feet and my tag-line is "He Sweats a Lot"? Thanks guys, thanks.

12:45PM-1:45PM: Eat lunch. Relax. Smile and nod when person #49 oohs and aahs at my chopstick skills. Silently curse when my co-teacher's giggle at my inability to pick up that last god-forsaken piece of corn.

2-4PM: More class. More sweat. 

4:30PM: Home-time! Consider putting in an IV for hydration. Decide washing day is every day instead.

I spend a half-day at the School Board Office, and 3 days a month I spend the mornings in Kindergarten, and the afternoons in Elementary school. Also, Every Wednesday night I have a two hour Adult English Class. It's a great variety: I've got really cool adults, which are a nice change from the kiddies, I get five-year-old's who never, ever get tired of jumping all over me, and don't feel shy about poking me in every part of my body I can imagine, and I get elementary school kids, who are super excited to see me and a load of fun!

Anyways, there's a bit of me for you!

Goodbye and goodnight!

Alright Japan, we've got a problem.
And this was a problem I was willing to ignore until it recently became two problems...

Problem 1: Pigeons on my front balcony. I tried to keep them out, but failed, so I figured I'd just let them have this balcony, as long as I had my bedroom-balcony....

Problem 2: I went out on my other balcony and found these little nightmares... I know, they're cute, adorable fledglings, but that won't make me love them... 

So new plan. Wait for these jerkadons to flee the nest, and then take back the night. Gonna bird proof the crap outta this place.


Aaaannnd in other news. A delightful adventure with my favourite Kiwi, Jessica Clarke, English teacher extraordinaire, fantastic company, and partner in crime.

There's nothing like a fuzzy navel

I am immediately drawn to anything comically small. This being Japan, it happens often. More on life as a 6'1" man in a 5'7" world soon. I may be growing a unicorn horn on the top of my head that I hit on at least 1/3 of the doorways.

It's either that or I'm going to come back to Canada with a stoop and a hunch-b

 Adventure Part 2: Colin and Jess go for a "Grape Hunt" and are slightly disappointed when they find out there are no guns involved.

They peel their grapes. Because Japan

"THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID I THOUGHT WE SHOULD DOWNSIZE!"

We each came out of it with a bag of grapes, a stomach full of grape ice-cream, grape candy, frozen grapes, and enough regular grapes to start a winery, as well as having been serenaded by two farm workers on Japanese guitar

Difficult to word/A Japanese beginning/Expresses itself

Let's talk Japan.
Let's talk about it being wilder than I ever imagined.

Let's talk about being made to feel welcome.

  More welcome than I've ever felt in a stranger's home.

 Let's talk about "squee"s of excitement overflowing, and feeling less alone.

.

Let's talk about parties, with food and sparklers and hospitality

Let's talk about food again.. Let's talk about food that always looks good, about food that is fresh, and about food that you feel good about.

Japan, let's talk about awe. Because I'm there.